BY SALONEE MISTRY
From feeling like he didn’t fit in, to becoming one of the happiest people at his workplace, Brendan Ryan has come a long way.
Running a small bistro called Jacks on the Green at the Clayton Bowls Club, Brendan finally found a way to look after himself and his loved ones.
Stress, drugs and the fear of not fitting in got the better of Brendan, leaving him to self-harm as a misguided outlet for what he was feeling.
Life in Mind has summarised the Australian Bureau of Statistics (ABS) 2018 suicide data, stating “rate of suicide among males is more than three times greater than that for female”.
“In 2018, the age-specific rate for males 18.7 per 100,000 (2320 deaths by suicide) and females 5.8 per 100,000 (726 deaths by suicide),” the summary reads.
Comparing the numbers for both genders highlighted “suicide was the 10th leading cause of death for males and the 23rd leading cause for females”.
The only thing Brendan recalls stopping him from going deep to the point of no return was his parents constantly telling him it was not their responsibility to bury him.
His mum and dad also told him to remember, no matter what he did wrong, there was always someone to talk to, and nothing in this world was worth taking your own life.
“For me, when I tried to end my life, it was a sudden realisation of all the things I was not going to be a part of,” Brendan said.
“All the things I had done up until that moment that didn’t matter anymore. I remembered all my hopes and dreams I had for the future.”
Since, Brendan has started his own business with his partner and fell in love with his partner’s kids, who he is proud to be a role model for.
The scars on his body, he told MOJO News, do not make him sad anymore.
Looking at them reminds him he is still here, how far he has come and what he still has left to do on this earth.
If anything, they make him want to help others and let them know they do not have to be ashamed of their scars – whether they be physical or mental.
“Just because we have a little tear and the stuffing is falling out, doesn’t mean we need to be thrown away. Reaching out for help and picking yourself up won’t make you shiny and new, but definitely stronger, just like me,” Brendan said.
“I have become more alert to warning signs in other people who maybe going through a rough time.
“I don’t want anyone to go through what I have been through and wake up every morning regretting their actions.”
Communication is the key and if you cannot talk to anyone then writing helps, Brendan suggested.
“Help is always there I believe, and it’s up to the individual to ask for it, without any sense of shame.”
The data released by the ABS state in 2018 the average number of deaths by suicide in Australia each day was 8.3.