The Struggle treats news very seriously so we've enlisted the most experienced journalists to deliver the stories you need to know:

- Barbie and Ken sell weapons to the Albanese government

- Abby Lee Miller assembles her pyramid of the week: Mugshot Edition

- And we cross to our local eshay for a hit of crime news.

Plus, we time travel to 1692 to observe a witch trial involving the Spanish Football Federation President, work out why celebs are working retail jobs, and ask people the best excuse they've used to skip work.